MARCH 1st is almost here.
We set before us the Third Table which is a symbolic manifestation of the Third Pastament entered into without divine intervention of any kind. The Third Pastament is manmade and lacking of any miraculous or mysterious elements. On August 9, 2024 in the city of Bradenton, Florida in the United States of America; Cardinal Fang and 34 others did establish the Third Pastament to preserve the Third Table through August 9, 2413 until our Messiah, Ashley, will create our Fourth and Final Pastament. At this Third Table let us worship with wisdom. We set before us the Third Table.
Certificates and ID Cards
This card certifies that:
has obtained the rank of pirate
Effective August 9, 2018
PIRATE - No Sacrements performed.
PROTECTOR - Two sacraments performed.
POPE - Has performed all three sacrements.
Let it be known that the cardholder is a certified pirate with thirdtable.org. As a pirate of thirdtable.org, the cardholder
agrees to observe our three sacraments.
THE FIRST SACREMENT is to read the Third Pastament aloud every year on August 9th.
THE SECOND SACREMENT is to attend one Third Table meeting sometime during the cardholder’s life. Third Table meetings are held every eight years on August 9th in Bradenton Florida.
The first one will be held on August 9, 2024.
THE THIRD SACRAMENT is the only tradition carried over from the era of the Second Table. Pirate agrees to have his driver’s license picture made while wearing a colander on the cardholder’s head.
As a pirate the cardholder’s only goal is the preservation of the Third Table through August 9, 2413.
Even though all copyrighted material has been removed from the Loose Canon Hardback edition, this edition nor the Pastafarian Loose Canon will be available for sale any time soon. Check back in August 2056.
See more pictures of the Loose Canon(s) below.
Contrary to rumors, all copies of the Loose Canon printed after February 5, 2018 fully comply with US Copyright laws. Do your research before buying a copy of the Loose Canon. There were exactly 20 copies printed back in 2014 by a pirate who pirated the Loose Canon. The Loose Canon Complete Second Edition. ISBN 978-0578136660 is also unavailable.
Claimants of copyright infringement failed to file suit within the 3 year period of the statute of limitations thus forfeited all rights.
Certificate and ID Cards are not yet available and are likely to be improved for better visual appeal. This is just the first thought. For ideas contact Cardinal Fang via email at
BACK COVER This version will also be unavailable until August 2056.
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